Crazy Survey - DE Expressions

Before Facebook, people with too much time on their hands used to send each other obnoxious e-mail questionnaires to find out what their friends would wear if they only had one day to live. These were dark times for the World Wide Web.

In 2002, my friend Nicolas and I sent out a spoof of these surveys as either protest or retaliation. I can't remember. He wrote the even-numbered questions, and I wrote the odd-numbered ones:

You may be familiar with this form of Internet harassment. The point is to copy the questions below, put in your own answers, and forward them to a bunch of people who, trust me, really don't care. I was never sure what you win, but, I mean, what are your chances anyway, right?

Of all the questions in the survey so far, which is your favourite?
Run around the building containing the computer you are using now. How long did it take you?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If you were to die, what three people would you haunt for the rest of their sane lives?
Sushi or psychonantrum-enforced psyonic filter?
What is the present value of the Hubble constant, rounded to the closest km/(sec.*Mpc)? If you don't know, just write, "I am a stupid moron."
If you could kill any movie star of your choice, what sort of blade would you use to gut Pauly Shore?
Vanilla or chocolate sauce on your spaghetti?
What is your favourite reason why The WB's Birds of Prey sucked?
What happened to Question 10?
If your best friend/significant other/pet dog were kidnapped and the ransom were $250,000, how would you get the money?
Why aren't you answering this question?
Have you ever faked a British accent?
If you could have sex with anyone in the world, what makes you think I'd want anything to do with you?
Has a British accent ever faked you?
Shut down your browser. How are you supposed to complete the survey now, genius?
You've just won a trip around the world, but the most annoying person you know is coming along. Do you go, and how do you get rid of the body?
Who wrote this question?
What colour shirt will you be wearing in five days?
If you could define the essence of your existence in a series of decimals, what would it be?
If you had the opportunity to meet your favourite movie star, what would you eat for breakfast?
Are you anal retentive? Structure your answer in four parts with the fourth part first and the third part fourth. Include a table of contents and a title page.
Complete this word: C _ _ _
Why are you still reading this crap?

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