Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Hostel Part III
Vegas trips go on sale, and torture porn relocates to Sin City! Dimitri reviews the first straight-to-video instalment in the infamously violent franchise.
The Avengers
The ultimate super-hero crossover! Dimitri reviews Marvel’s long anticipated mash-up of the Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America franchises.
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
From scientists to misfits! Dimitri shares his thoughts on the claymation adaptation of Gideon Defoe’s irreverent novels.
The Raid: Redemption
Thirty stories of kinetic boredom! Dimitri reviews Gareth Evans’ crime thriller about cops and robbers beating each other to a pulp in an apartment building.
The Cabin in the Woods
Horror for those who don’t like the stuff! Dimitri reviews Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s loving hate letter to scary movies.
The Moth Diaries
Vampires, feminist approaches, and Gothic romances! Dimitri shares his thoughts on Mary Harron’s adaptation of the novel by Rachel Klein.
The Three Musketeers
The Three Musketeers meets Final Fantasy! Dimitri reviews Paul W.S. Anderson’s fanciful adaptation of the novel by Alexandre Dumas.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The third instalment of The Twilight Saga! Dimitri reviews the insanely popular vampire romance, starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, but not Rachelle Lefevre. We protest!
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
A teenage girl loses her feeble little mind! Dimitri critiques the second chapter of The Twilight Saga, in which Kristin Stewart bites her lip a lot.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe
The hardly awaited continuation of the X-Files saga! Dimitri reviews the low-budget sequel, starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Xzibit, and Billy Connolly.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Film criticism in short-form poetry! Dimitri shares his thoughts on Michael Bay’s second Transformers flick in ten haikus.
Transporter 3
The latest instalment in the largely unnecessary Transporter series! Dimitri reviews the brainless action flick, starring Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, Robert Knepper, and François Berléand.
Trick ‘r Treat
Happy All Hallows Eve from the ghoulish Sam! Dimitri reviews Michael Dougherty’s Halloween-themed anthology, starring Dylan Baker, Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, and newcomer Samm Todd.
Tron
Before there was The Matrix (1999), The Thirteenth Floor (1999), or The Lawnmower Man (1992), there was the ultra-linear Tron. Dimitri reviews the sci-fi classic, starring Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner.
Tron: Legacy
A sequel twenty-eight years in the making! Dimitri reviews the new Tron, starring Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, and Jeff Bridges. No, that’s not a typo.
Twilight
The first instalment in The Twilight Saga! Dimitri shares his thoughts on Catherine Hardwicke’s adaptation of the popular novel.